confessions of a...

gas station attendant.

The other day a customer took the checkbook-balancing-at-the-counter trend a little too far. Yep. She pulled out a calculator. I looked at her in awe as I saw the clock flip to 5:30pm out of the corner of my eye. Other folks lined up behind her and waited impatiently as she punched away at her number-subtracting-machine. Ugh.


Tonight a little Korean man came in, as he does every week, to buy $40 in Powerball tickets for a pool he has with his coworkers. He's a funny fellow...often humming or whistling as I scan his lottery tickets, hoping for a winner. Occasionally he says something strange, but not weird strange, but the kind of strange where I find something hilarious that he said when he did not intend for it to be funny, and visa versa.
He walked in this evening and said, "Hi, you look like you could be your sister."
"My sister?", I said confused, "I don't have a sister."
"Well you look like you are your sister."
"Okay...."
"You don't have a sister?"
"Nope, I don't have a sister."
"Your brother?"
"I don't have a brother, and if I did I would surely hope that I wouldn't look like him!"
"No brother and no sister? Don't you want a sister?"
"No, I don't think I'd want a sister."
"Don't you want a brother?"
"No, I don't think I'd want a brother either."
"Well, what do you want then!?!?"
"......a husband", I said as I started chuckling.
He didn't get it, but I thought it was funny.

This summer there was a very attractive fellow from Queensland, Australia that was here playing fastpitch baseball or softball or some sport where he was a pitcher and threw a ball very fast. Anyhow, he was always very confused about our coins and would just throw them on the counter and ask me to help him count our "crazy looking money". It always throws me off when someone comes in and orders something with a thick foreign accent. It takes my brain a few seconds to realize that I need to pay closer attention because this guy was not asking for a lye turd, but he was saying "lie-tuh, lie-TUH! I need a lie-tuh." A what? Oh. Marry me. Thanks.