gas station attendant.
Rules for flirting with the gas station attendant:
1. Generally DON'T do it.
2. If you must do it, do not suck.
3. If you are flirting, (your age divided by 2)+7 should not equal a number any larger than the girls age. Example. Dude is 38. 38/2=19+7=26. I am not 26. You are too old for me.
4. "Blah blah blah Gamblers hockey goalie stunk hot dogs blah blah blah You Single? Wanna date?" Is the worst line ever. I was so shocked that my reply sucked, you big creepy 40something lisper creep. Yes. No. Sorta single. Not looking for anything. No. No no sorry. Bye. Crap.
5. You wearin' perfume? Also not a good thing to say.
6. Don't flirt when you're completely obliterated. "Your skin complexion is just PERFECT! I want to high five you so bad right now." Is not a great line. It was great when you fell over trying to open the door to leave, though.
7. Don't insult my job then try to flirt with me. Even if I thought you were cute before, you definitely aren't now.
8. Don't flirt if you are married. This applies especially to the guys that are married and don't wear wedding rings. Scandalous and dangerous and go home to your wife.
9. You single? Who wants to know? Generally the best answer is no. Not single. Sometimes I even switch my ring over to my left hand. It's that serious.
10. If I flirt back, you are entitled to engaged in casual flirting every time you stop in and I'm there. This does not mean love.
11. If you are a knight, and you are there to sweep me away, give me 15 seconds to turn on the alarm and lock up.
4.17.2009
confessions of a...
gas station attendant.
"Do you happen to have some day old bread? I have some seagulls that are starving.
....it's just my soft spot."
-crazy lady who proceeded to buy a perfectly delicious and fresh $2.49 loaf of white bread.
I'm seriously serious.
The distance between posts is not a sign of a distance between excitement and funnythings at the store. We've been quite busy switching over to a new brand of gas (BP) and getting accustomed to new registers. Sales seem to be up not only because the weather is finally starting to act like spring, but because of the change. I'd say 99% of the people are happy about it, the others are just OCD or have credit cards from the old company and would rather not get another gas card. Understood.
We had a huge 4-5 foot bunny on top of our deli case for Easter. I loved it for two reasons. One. Kids just loved him. "MOM MOM MOM LOOK IT'S THE EASTER BUNNY!!" was a pretty standard response but of course it varied in cuteness and excitement depending on age and awakeness. Two. I could hold immensely awesome solo dance parties behind him and no one would know. For real.
The day after Easter, one of the opening ladies hid Hector, the big bunny, in the store somewhere...hard to do, hiding something so big and white and cuddly wonderful. Well, we knew where he was, we just sorta forgot about moving him after the after work rush. As I walked into our beer cooler/cave/awesome to fill it just before closing I gasped! as Hector, the big bunny, sat atop a stack of Bud Light cases, looking at me gleefully and encouraging me to buy some beer at the local corner store. The most ridiculous part was that as I carried him out of the walk-in cooler, an entourage of gangly high school boys entered the store. Awesome.
I love Mountain Dew. I tried to quit drinking it the other day, but resulted in me giving up soon after my shift started and announcing to my Mom that I was drinking the best cup of Mtn Dew ever on the planet.
It's hard out there for an addict.
I can't wait for tomorrow night. People are going to be in a great mood: it's going to be beautiful outside, it's Friday, I'm working and I'm awesome, I'm sure the Brewers are playing and they might not lose, and it's FREE HIGH FIVE DAY.
I'm totally makin' a sign for that last one. Think I'm lyin'? I'm not.
"Do you happen to have some day old bread? I have some seagulls that are starving.
....it's just my soft spot."
-crazy lady who proceeded to buy a perfectly delicious and fresh $2.49 loaf of white bread.
I'm seriously serious.
The distance between posts is not a sign of a distance between excitement and funnythings at the store. We've been quite busy switching over to a new brand of gas (BP) and getting accustomed to new registers. Sales seem to be up not only because the weather is finally starting to act like spring, but because of the change. I'd say 99% of the people are happy about it, the others are just OCD or have credit cards from the old company and would rather not get another gas card. Understood.
We had a huge 4-5 foot bunny on top of our deli case for Easter. I loved it for two reasons. One. Kids just loved him. "MOM MOM MOM LOOK IT'S THE EASTER BUNNY!!" was a pretty standard response but of course it varied in cuteness and excitement depending on age and awakeness. Two. I could hold immensely awesome solo dance parties behind him and no one would know. For real.
The day after Easter, one of the opening ladies hid Hector, the big bunny, in the store somewhere...hard to do, hiding something so big and white and cuddly wonderful. Well, we knew where he was, we just sorta forgot about moving him after the after work rush. As I walked into our beer cooler/cave/awesome to fill it just before closing I gasped! as Hector, the big bunny, sat atop a stack of Bud Light cases, looking at me gleefully and encouraging me to buy some beer at the local corner store. The most ridiculous part was that as I carried him out of the walk-in cooler, an entourage of gangly high school boys entered the store. Awesome.
I love Mountain Dew. I tried to quit drinking it the other day, but resulted in me giving up soon after my shift started and announcing to my Mom that I was drinking the best cup of Mtn Dew ever on the planet.
It's hard out there for an addict.
I can't wait for tomorrow night. People are going to be in a great mood: it's going to be beautiful outside, it's Friday, I'm working and I'm awesome, I'm sure the Brewers are playing and they might not lose, and it's FREE HIGH FIVE DAY.
I'm totally makin' a sign for that last one. Think I'm lyin'? I'm not.
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