confessions of a...

gas station attendant.

There are times when I think that I've seen/heard/smelled/witnessed it all...but then I remember the exact reason why I have this blog - because I haven't. There's always something quirkier weirder funnier more stupid more dense more idiotic more gullible more jaw-dropping than I could ever imagine.

The other night while I was cleaning the men's bathroom, which is really a beloved chore of mineasdl;sadflkndsafoi....sorry about that, I was choking for a second... I noticed something in the bottom of the toilet. Usually it would've just been leftover poop that didn't get flushed or something else equally nasty, but this time it was shiny. What on earth, I thought to myself as I continued scrubbing along.
Suddenly, I saw it. It was a quarter. A million questions started racing through my head. How did it get there? Did someone poop that out? How long as it been there? Did it just fall out of someone's pocket? Why is it so shiny? Did that seriously come out of someone's butt? Why are men so freaking creepy? What the hell? Why why why why why is there a quarter in the bottom of the toilet?

I'm still confused. And a little baffled. And maybe slightly impressed. Maybe. But definitely, definitely confused.

confessions of a...

gas station attendant.

I'm not really sure why you do it. There's not any reason for you to do it here, right in front of me, a line of people behind you. Tapping fingers on the counter to help your subtractions. 'Tis a silly thing. Please avoid this when you are in my line. I know it's exciting, but I promise promise promise it can wait. I may even be looking at you menacingly, but you still carry on with your number-moving. I suppose I may applaud your dedication as people behind you begin to shuffle and I even motion for you to slide over a bit so I can help the next person, but no, oh no, you carry on.
Why do you insist on balancing your checkbook at my counter?

So what if my applause was a slow clap? (and only in my head.) 


Thank you, come again soon.