confessions of a...

gas station attendant.

I don't mind if you come in in your pajamas ladies, but please wear a bra.
And on other days you may wear skanky clothes in my store, but please keep your ladies in their place.

I want to retort stupid questions with stupid answers.
Like such as:
"Do you have milk?" ......and I'd say, "We are those Wisconsinites who don't believe in milk. No."

"Is this green button enter?" .......and I'd say, "NO! That's the time travel button. It'll bring us back to '85."

"Is your gas leaded? It just says regular." ......and I'd say, "Yes, we were magically able to skirt around strict laws since the '70s."

"What's this thing?" (pointing at the ATM) .....and I'd say, "It's a magical Mario mushroom dispenser. If you're lucky, you'll get a One Up and get an extra life."

"Do you hate your job?" .....and I'd say, "Yes, but only when people like you come around....otherwise I kind of love it."
All real questions.

Also, why is it so hard for a boy to ask a girl out? Is it the awkward counter between us? Huh. This sucks.