confessions of a

gas station attendant.

It's 9:30pm and you want beer. What do you do? You come to me.Last week, though, someone demanded that wine is beer. I gigglesnorted and insisted that wine is most definitely not beer, and won the battle. (Wisconsin is liquor+wine til 9, beer til midnight, generally.)
Wine is beer though, that's a good one.
Like any gas station, we have a penny cup. I encourage penny usage, really. I actually have a secret vow to never give more than 3 pennies back for change, which means I NEVER give more than 3 pennies back for change. That's right, your 54 cents change from a soda is always, always 55. You're welcome.
However, four pennies is way too many to use from the penny cup. Three is even questionable, but four! Four is right out. Don't be that guy.

Lay off the swiss cake rolls. Everybody needs to do it. Well maybe 7% of the population could stand a daily swiss cake roll or cosmic brownie, but please succumb your desires for gooey melty chocolaty goodness for the sake that you don't need to intake 600 calories like that. It's not worth it. Pop in some M&Ms and grab a glass of wine or a pint of your favorite and chilllll out.

I'm not really sure what possesses people to stuff wads of dollas in their pockets and throw them at me one at a time in smashed, tiny, paper-cuts-waiting-to-happen anxiety balls. But don't freakin do it. I mean, I'm talking a literal BALL SMASHED to the point of you-need-5-minutes-to-straighten-these-bills kind of SMASHED. It's annoying. Plus! You threw them at me like I'm a garbage can, and I don't appreciate that.
Oh, don't throw your credit card at me either. As a matter of fact, don't throw anything at me. I am not one of those sticky fly stripes. I am human. I am not garbage. I have feelings.

Uh, good quote:
"I'm gonna buy this (lighter) for my lezbo friend. Oh yeah. I'm getting this for little lezbo. She'll love it." -crazy lady #67

We know when you are pooping. That's all.